Aishiteru

Ok, so, i'm not much of a poet. But i was thinking a lot about this today, even dreamed about it. 

Red blood on red lips

White skin against white skin

Aishiteru, a whisper and a moan

Red lips on red lips

Dark eyes drowning in the blue of the sky

Blue eyes drowning in the dragon’s void

White moon drowning out the colors of the ragged world

All is monochrome like sea and sky

Hot skin, burning from the blood

Cold dragon hungers

For red blood on red lips

For lust and for blood

Sky and dragon meet in violent embrace

Cannot breath, who cares, don’t need to anyway

Is three a crowd? If so, who said a crowd is bad?

But gently, so the only living thing don’t die in your embrace

Aishiteru, in monochrome and crimson red

Aishiteru, in moonlit day and sunlit night

Aishiteru, in pleasure and in pain

Aishiteru, aishiteru, aishiteru beating in a head

In dead hearts, be still, don’t beat, it hurts

But beat some more, the pain is only love

Love hurts and love heals, even if you’re dead

Be still now, eternity is waiting

A moment short

Dead hearts beating

Aishiteru, each moment waiting

Food Project: Monday, week 1....

Late.... I know.... but that's just me never learning how to manage my time. I promise I'll work on that.

Ok, let's get this show on the road.... see how long it lasts. I did good today, ate all my meals.... which, for me... well, yay! But this is about food costs, so... Here's today's rundown:

Breakfast: Oatmeal mash, served with milk and jam, ray bread with meat spread, juice to drink. Price per person: 8,04 SEK (1,21 USD).

Ugh, i never liked oatmeal. But, i baked the bread myself! Yay! One thing i was thinking about. How much juice did they count on? How big is a glass anyway? i have glasses that are 1,5 dl and I have glasses that are 4 dl. I opted for 2 dl, that felt ok.


Morning Snack: Coffee with milk, 1 crispbread with butter, 1 orange. That's the original version. I don't drink coffee, so I sub it out with 1 dl of hot cocoa. I also subbed out the orange for 100 g of blackberries. I want to eat fruits and veggies that are in season, so to speak. Well, oranges are in season now, but when I started planning for this project it was still September and as i shopped this first Monday in advance, I bought frozen blackberries. Anywho, with my tweaking, this snack cost me 13,35 SEK (2,02 USD).


Lunch: Fish stew, served with potatoes, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, 2 pieces of baguette with butter. This stew apparently calls for saffron, as it says so in the menu. But 1: Saffron is expensive. REALLY expensive, and 2: I couldn't find any good recipe. But i found a recipe using creme fraiche saffron&tomato. I also subbed out the lettuce for baby spinach. As this is is a stew, there is no reason to make less than 4 portions. This means 3 portions in the freezer. Making the stew cost 109,27 SEK (16,56 USD). 1 portion, including veggies and bread; 38,94 SEK (5,90 USD).


Afternoon snack: 1 piece of ray bread, with butter and cucumber. I HATE eating butter like that. At least the bread was warm, so the butter melted. Cost: 2,55 SEK (0,38 USD)


Dinner: Pea soup with pork and mustard, 1 ray bread with butter, 1 carrot (I think), 2 pancakes with jam. Ok, so, a couple of changes here. I skipped the pea soup, as I cannot even look at it without feeling nauseous. I subbed it out for spinach soup with a hard boiled egg. Carrots I'm allergic to, so I just skipped out on veggies. But who doesn't love pancakes? Strawberry jam I love, but take care with, as I'm also allergic to strawberries. Making spinach soup for one is a piece of cake, but i made pancakes batter on 3's (3 eggs, 3 dl of flour, 3 dl of milk), making 15 pancakes at a cost of 15,91 SEK (2,40 USD). 1 portion of Spinach soup and pancakes landed on 19,75 SEK (2,98 USD).

Evening snack: Tea, 1 bread with butter and cheese. Again, subbing things out. I don't drink tea. Never did. I should probably start. I had my mini cup of chocolate instead. And instead of normal yellowish cheese, i had some brown cheese, mesost, that I have never seen anywhere other than Sweden and Norway. Don't ask me to describe it because I can't. I want to say it's a bit vanilla-y... Never mind.. can't do it... anywho, this snack of mine landed on 4,47 SEK (0,67 USD).


So today's shopping list looked like this:

If i had had empty cupboards:                      Actually needed to shop:
Jam                                                             Jam
Sugar                                                          Sugar
Eggs                                                            Eggs
Nutmeg                                                       Nutmeg
Heavy cream                                               Heavy cream
Chicken stock                                             Chicken stock
Yellow Onions                                            Yellow Onions
Frozen Spinach                                           Frozen Spinach
Baguette                                                     Baguette
Baby spinach                                              baby spinach
Tomato                                                       Tomato
Creme fraiche                                             Creme Fraiche
Leeks                                                          Leeks
Black pepper                                               Black pepper
Codfish                                                       Codfish
Blackberries                                                Blackberries
Butter (for bread)                                        Butter (for bread)
Crispbread                                                  Crispbread
Instant chocolate                                          Instant chocolate
Meat spread                                                Meat spread
Wheat flour                                                  Wheat flour
Ray flour                                                       Ray flour
Butter (for cooking)                                      Butter (for cooking)
Yeast                                                           Yeast
Orange juice                                                Orange juice
Milk                                                            Milk
Salt                                                             Salt
Oatmeal                                                      Oatmeal
Cheese                                                        Cheese

Total cost:871,90 SEK (131,61 USD)          Total cost: 483,21 SEK (72,94 USD)


Ok, that was the first and last time I calculated the cost of having absolutely nothing. It would have taken almost one third of my increased budget and about half of the calculated budget for one person. Of course some of the things will keep over a longer period, maybe even past this projects time. I mean, who uses a pound of salt in 2 months? If you do, you shouldn't.... Anywho, first day of project done, and here's how we stand, money-wise:

Purchasing budget                          Cooking budget                             Budget per portion
  3000,00 SEK(452,84 USD)        3000,00 SEK (452,84 USD)       1720,00 SEK (259,63 USD)
-   483,21 SEK(72,94 USD)       -   197,12 SEK (-29,75 USD)       -  87,10 SEK  (13,14 USD)
  2516,79 SEK (379,90 USD)        2802,88 SEK (423,09 USD)       1632,90 SEK (246,49 USD)

Suffice it to say, if my purchasing cost is going to keep being this high, I'll run out of money before the week is out. Which would mean it is impossible to follow this menu, at least the first time around. Portion budget, however, seems like it can make it.

Food project preamble

Yeah.... Food... We all eat it. Even Yaoi Anime Characters. Buuut.... this project isn't about that. I have another food project waiting that is ALL about Yaoi. No, this is my own little curiosity crusade. See, this is a glorious country I live in. The government even tell you what to eat. And how much it should cost. Ok, tell you is a little... strong... but both Konsumentverket and SLV actually have a 4 week menu on their websites. It's essentially the same menu, all I really found differing was that SLVs version was more detailed, and some days were switched. Now, granted, I only checked the first week.

So, what am I after? Well, my Hypothesis goes: There is NO WAY you can eat everything on that menu for the allotted coin. According to those two government agencies, you are supposed to be able to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and 2-3 small meals or snacks every day. And a couple of handfuls of candy, crisps and some dessert spread out over the week. Like, dessert one day, chocolate one day and so on. And... hold on to your seats.... 1 glass of wine and 2 light beers a week. Ok, small disclaimer; I'm not sure the sweets and the alcohol is actually in the calculated budget, but I will include the sweets. Not the alcohol, as I don't drink alcohol. Yes, I'm a bore with issues. But as long as you don't try to shove alcohol down my throat, I wont stop you from shoving alcohol down yours. Anywho, the budget for one female in her 20's (that would be me) is 1720 kr (that would be 260 dollars and 73 cent in the US) per month. This include homemade lunch. In Sweden, it's fairly common to bring homemade lunch to work, either specially made lunch boxes or the leftovers from yesterdays dinner. School lunches are free for the little kiddies up to at least 9th grade. Often also our (age-wise) in Swedish equivalent to High School.

I have 3 issues with these menus and their budget. 1: There are no recipes  This creates a problem, as you could go how cheap or expensive as you like. I'm aiming for the cheap-moderate end of the scale. Even with recipes this is a problem, of course, but if you had recipes you'd at least get a hint. 2: Sometimes you HAVE to make food for 4-10 even if you are alone. I intend to solve this by relying on my freezer and let this project run for 8 weeks rather than 4. That should get me some days when food costs cut to 0 week 5-8. 3: There are some things on the menu i CAN NOT EAT. Allergies and some absolutely vile menu items answer for that. But that's easily solved. Subbing out some things might be possible. But I promise to at least present the original menu for each day, and tell what I sub out.

So, here's my thought, or, my plan rather: I will be counting 3 ways: What it costs to purchase the ingredients, what it costs to cook the food, (that is, you don't pour the whole salt package in the food, and you can't really purchase only one teaspoon of salt, can you?) and how much each portion cost. The two first  will have a budget of 3000 kr (454,77 USD) just because I KNOW it's impossible to purchase all the food for the budget for 1. 3000 kr is the budget for 2 adults who eat lunch at work, so 5 lunches are not in that budget, but that is a side note  as I knew I needed a bigger budget. See... already I've busted this hypothesis  Also, I will for the first few days have two "purchase costs". I wanted to go into this with entirely empty cupboards, but 1: that would mean throwing out a lot of stuff, and 2: I think they have not counted on the "staples". Salt, pepper, flour, cooking oil and some other things i cant really think of right now is probably not in the budget. It is in my budget though, as they are actual costs.

Side note, and side effect, on this project is, as with most food projects, health effects. Including weight. I will NOT treat this as some kind of dietary weight loss project, but as my weight is a concern (to my doctor, i don't really care), and my eating habits (eating habits, people, NOT food habits) are kind of dismal, it will be interesting to see where this leads me. I will only note, each Monday,  if I have lost or gained weight, and if so, how much.

So. Let's get on it. With no further ado. BTW, are you sure it's preamble? Not pre-ramble?

Yay! New Books!

I know it's not Wednesday, but what the heck, let's talk books. I got a package in the mail the other day, containing books. I always get happy when that happens. I finally get to read a book I've been longing for. This is what the package contained:

Secretary's Job? *Yaoi Fan Girl Mode Activated!* I read it right away, and I liked it. Takase was a little creepy for being so upbeat, and that time when he panicked because..... nah, not gonna spoil it....









Ouran High School Host Club vol.1. This is one of those I've been thinking to read since FOREVER! I've seen the anime, but I love books so... I will read it as soon as I've read....>>>>>









Asunder! Yay! Finally! I read The Stolen Throne and The Calling long ago, but for some reason I never really got around to Asunder. But now, I'm going to get my head down and read. Already read 100 pages. So far, I like it.









Watership Down. I remember seeing both the 1978 movie and the 1999 animated series, but I haven't read the book (yet). But I look forward to it.









Unfortunately, the book I looked most forward to reading didn't make it to my book package. Stone Spring ran out while they were packing orders that day, or something. Hate it when that happens. Oh, well, it'll probably show up later. In fact, I'm waiting for three books from my bookstore, and it has been some time now. Hope, hope, hope they show up, sooner rather than later, as one of them is Tyrant falls in love vol. 4, and I already have vol. 1-3 and 5. (Have to buy 6 and 7, soon.)


  Well, anywho, I'm gonna be bussy reading this week.




(Pictures belong to their respective creators, I take no credit for them.)

Another day....

I put in a list of my favorite male Final Fantasy characters a while back, and now, it's time for the females. But before I do, let me just comment on something I read the other day. It concerns Death Note.

Concerning Death Note: Both L and Light have ANOREXIA! I'm not kidding, here. According to the OFFICIAL How-to-read guide, Light is 179 cm tall and weigh in at 54 kg (that's 5'8" and 119 lb) and L is 179 cm tall and weigh in at 50 kg. That gives Light a Body Mass Index of 16.9 and L 15.6. Now BMI is a blunt instrument on an individual level, generally it says very little about a persons health. But for a realistic assessment of Light's health at that weight would be that he should probably be in a wheel chair. And L.... well... he should probably not get out of bed... there's a risk even that he wont be able to lift his head, as it would be to heavy...



Well, that aside, let's have a look on them girls, shall we? Again, just as with the guys, I only cover 7 to 13-2, skipping out on 1-6, Dirge of Cerberus and the MMO's. Actually, I'll skip out on Crisis Core, too, because that would be cheating....

Final Fantasy 7: Tifa. What a kick-ass girl. Pretty, doesn't mind getting her hands dirty, can handle herself in a fight, can handle Cloud and his emo outbreaks. I know, I know, most people would probably pick Aerith, but something about her just.... rubs me the wrong way, I guess...








Final Fantasy 7 AC: Marlene! I know, she's a kid. But she is such a kick-ass kid. When she threw that Materia at Loz.... I laughed and I groaned at the same time, because my first thought was; Marlene, now you're in trouble. And girl, was I right.... and when she tries to hide under Vincent's torn cape... so sweet, so innocent, so trusting and so strong.

Final Fantasy 8: Selphie. A spunky young woman who balances out the Emo Boy (a.k.a Squall) quite well. Carefree without being careless. Gives for a few fun moments, and man, she can wield nunchaku. Which is hard. I've tried. Although, I must admit... Her hair looks a bit weird.









Final Fantasy 9: Eiko. Another of the spunky Final Fantasy girls. And she tries sooo haaaard. To be happy, to be independent. Sweet, kinda innocent, a nice change of pace.






Final Fantasy 10: How can one NOT say Rikku? This list seems full with spunk at this rate. But maybe that's the point. Side-kick girls needs to be spunky to level out all the emo boys.... Rikku talks crazy in the beginning, but that's because she's Al Bhed.

Paine

Final Fantasy X-2: Paine! Paine is basically a female version of Squall and Vincent combined, with the emo and the clothing... she's less emo, though. She is another kick-ass lady, and all the outfits they made for her, the dress spheres, look great. Paine is one of those Final Fantasy characters I wouldn't mind taking out on a date.








Final Fantasy 12: Penelo. More spunk. But I like her, she can get angry and sad and she always tries to keep Vaan  in check, though she never really succeeds.










Final Fantasy 13: FANG! I mean, HELL, what a woman. Enough said!

Well, there you are. My Favourite Female Final Fantasy Characters.

(The pictures belong to their respective creators, I take no credit for them)

Small reminder....

Just a small reminder: Today, Saturday September 8, is the International Day for Literacy. Have you been reading anything? I've been reading. I've been reading En ö i havet, slow progress but still progress. I think I'm too restless at the moment to really hunker down and read.

I have been writing a little, too. As usual, yaoi FanFiction. So, I give you the first page (or is it maybe somewhere in the middle of some book) of my Star Wars meets Mass Effect yaoi, with my Revan (with a new name) and Carth Onasi as the love couple.

The Ebon Hawk shot out of the worm hole and straight into a planet atmosphere. For a moment, it was out of control and it got extremely hot in the freighters interior, but its expert pilot was swift to put the heat sink in overdrive. He could not gain control over their decent, however.

“We’re totally going to crash”, said one of the kids behind the pilot.

“That would be bad”, said another, with a knack for stating the obvious.

         The fear for this destiny was palpable; no one on this ship wanted such an end. The only one who seemed calm was the man standing between the pilot seats.

“Buckle in, kids”, he said. “This is going to hurt.”

         The seven people behind him hurried to do so. Unfortunately, this left no seat for himself. Their pilot had managed to slow down a little, but this was going to be a quite graceless landing. They were rapidly meeting a sand sea, at least there were no mountains to strike. The standing man braced himself for impact.

         The Ebon Hawk came to a skidding halt on the dune sea. All was still. No one moved.

“Uron. Uron!”

         He among them that had been standing when they crash landed groaned and sat up. The pilot sat back with a sigh of relief.

“Don’t do that to me”, he said.

“Sorry”, he muttered. “I’m ok.”

“You’re bleeding”, said a female voice, which was neither of the two women in their company.

         Uron put a hand to the back of his head and felt the sticky warm blood. He nodded slowly. His head was feeling really funny. He looked up at the woman who had spoken. She was not alone. She was accompanied by three men and two women, of different species.

“Asari”, he said quietly, getting to his feet. He swayed a little. “If you will excuse me, I think I will go and vomit.”

         The crowd parted for him, they would have, sick or not. Uron’s friends looked after him.

“Will he be ok”, one of them asked.

“Yeah, well…”, said the pilot softly. “Maybe I’d better go and check. Let’s go to the assembly room and figure this out. I’ll get Uron.”

         The 8 of the 9 people of the Ebon Hawk and their 6 “visitors” filed out to the assembly room, and the pilot walked outside.

“Uron”, he said quietly. “You ok?”

         Uron stood with his back against the side of his star ship, eyes closed. He seemed to be listening.

“My head hurts”, he said.

“Of course it hurts. What did you think? What were you thinking, standing there? Why didn’t you at least get down?”

         Uron smiled a little.

“Carth Onasi”, he said softly. “Are you worried about me?”

         The Ebon Hawks pilot and long-term friend of Uron, Carth Onasi, gently put a hand on Urons temple. Uron could feel the healing power of Carths hand.

“Always”, Carth said.

“I feel cold”, whispered Uron, allowing himself a rare moment of vulnerability. “Embrace me.”

         Carth pulled gently at Uron, who leaned forward. They stood for a moment, close together.

“A thousand times you’ve promised me to be careful with your life, and a thousand times have you broken that promise”, said Carth quietly. “How can I trust you when you do that to me?”

“You trust me for the millions of times I do keep my promise.”

Romantic dinner for two...

Tsukumo and his snacks...

Junjou Romatica. One of my favourite yaoi's. And the first thing you see in it? A bag with a pot of stew. It only confirmed my theory that food is for everyone, even anime characters. Everyone eats, lots of people cooks. Food MATTERS. TO EVERYONE. And poor Tooma in UraBoku, always trying so hard to make the Zweilt, Yuki and Luka good, nutritious food, but while Yuki gladly eats, Tsukumo prefers his snacks and Toko.... well, she's a teenage girl...

Talking about snacks.... OH MY GOD! Yagami Light, you little devil! No one eats potato crisps so devilishly. And L? I think he and Tsukumo should have a sweet eating contest. Honestly. They are always eating sweets, those two...




Me, I'm a sucker for good food and good desserts and GOOD CHOCOLATE. What can I say, I'm a woman. One of my favorite chocolates is Marabou Non Stop. The chocolate bar version. Well, the original chocolate buttons, too, but the guy (or girl) who decided to put caramel covered dark chocolate buttons in a milk chocolate bar really is a genius. When I was a kid, there were small milk chocolate bars featuring Disney characters in white chocolate. I LOVED those. They don't seem to exist anymore in Sweden. Pity. And, of course, something i think every Swedish kid has had at least once after the age of 9: Chocolate Christmas Calendar. Those I love and hate. I love them mainly for nostalgic reasons, and I hate them because the chocolate..... well..... no. Not really, no.... Nooo, thank you... I have been thinking about making my own with quality chocolate, didn't get around to it last year, but maybe this year.... we'll see.

I was thinking, if I was to invite an anime character for a romantic dinner, I think I would invite L. That would be really interesting. Or maybe Giou Takashiro. Although, I don't think that would be all that romantic, L would be more "intellectually challenging goof-ball" and Takashiro.... well, him I just want to smack over the head and tell him to make out with his butler already. If they are NOT in love with each other, I'm a hobbit. Now I just have to figure out what to serve... I suppose I would have to cover L's dinner in chocolate, or he wouldn't eat it. I actually have a spice mix in my cupboard that is chili, cinnamon and cacao. And it WORKS. I have had it in sauces and stews, as well as on ice cream and in chocolate cakes. Takashiro... I think he would want some grilled fish and vegetables, and maccha ice cream for dessert. (Or maybe Fuyutoki for dessert.)

If anyone would take me out for dinner (or, rather, cook dinner for me at home, as I find that much more romantic), I would request a duck appetizer, fish main course and chocolate dessert. I love duck, I don't eat it often enough. It's not readily available where I live and it's expensive at that. fish I eat, of course, but I love fish, so... and what girl doesn't like chocolate?

Tomorrow, Onee-chan is coming here, so I'm cooking a little extra. Chicken lasange and for desert, Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge Sundae!


(Pictures belong to their respective creators, I take not credit for them.)